Most relationships go through phases where one or both partners have gone off sex, but there's no reason to think that the passion has gone forever. Once a pattern is established of having sex infrequently, or not at all, it can be hard to get back to a regular and satisfying love life but taking time to understand why you feel less like making love can hep you get your sex life back to how you want it.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Common Problems
Most men will experience erections problems at some stage during their life. In fact, erection problems will affect approximately 40% of men by the age of 40, and up to 70% of men by age 70.
For most men, the occasional loss of erection shouldn't be seen as anything more than a minor inconvenience. It's most likely caused by stress, distraction, too much alcohol or just generally feeling run down or not really in the mood for sex. In these cases then the problem is nothing to worry about and things should soon resolve themselves.
If you have problems getting an erection for masturbation as well as for partner sex and you infrequently or never get morning erections, then the problem may be physical. It is important you visit your GP as causes can include diabetes, poor circulation, kidney problems and high cholesterol among other things.
If your erection problems are quite sudden and you only experience difficulties in partner sex then the problem is more likely to be psychological.
Common psychological issues include:
Stress and anxiety from work or home
Problems within the relationship
Worrying about pleasing a partner
Depression
Sexual boredom
Performance anxiety
Performance anxiety is probably the most common cause of erection problems. And for many men, even when the initial cause of the erection problem has passed, whether psychological or physical, the anxiety of repeated failure creates anxiety and it is this anxiety that blocks erection. Below are some simple self-help techniques that you might find useful:
Self help techniques:
Talk to your partner - make sure you have their understanding and their support while you overcome this problem
Resolve any relationship issues before you get into the bedroom
Check out your lifestyle. Cut down on alcohol, give up smoking, make sure you're getting enough exercise and eating a healthy diet
Reduce stress - do whatever you can to minimise stress and anxiety
Relax - make sure you're making time in your schedule to relax and have fun, both alone and also as a couple.
Take time to enjoy being sensual as a couple before being sexual.
Enjoy a relaxing massage together without any expectations of sex.
Other sources of help:
If after a few weeks the problems persist then you can make an appointment to see a sex therapist at your local Relate. A therapist will work with you alone, or you and your partner, whichever is most appropriate, to help you recognise and resolve any couple or psychological issues that are preventing you overcoming the problem. They will also set you a series of homework exercises that will help you to gain more control and confidence of your erections
For most men, the occasional loss of erection shouldn't be seen as anything more than a minor inconvenience. It's most likely caused by stress, distraction, too much alcohol or just generally feeling run down or not really in the mood for sex. In these cases then the problem is nothing to worry about and things should soon resolve themselves.
If you have problems getting an erection for masturbation as well as for partner sex and you infrequently or never get morning erections, then the problem may be physical. It is important you visit your GP as causes can include diabetes, poor circulation, kidney problems and high cholesterol among other things.
If your erection problems are quite sudden and you only experience difficulties in partner sex then the problem is more likely to be psychological.
Common psychological issues include:
Stress and anxiety from work or home
Problems within the relationship
Worrying about pleasing a partner
Depression
Sexual boredom
Performance anxiety
Performance anxiety is probably the most common cause of erection problems. And for many men, even when the initial cause of the erection problem has passed, whether psychological or physical, the anxiety of repeated failure creates anxiety and it is this anxiety that blocks erection. Below are some simple self-help techniques that you might find useful:
Self help techniques:
Talk to your partner - make sure you have their understanding and their support while you overcome this problem
Resolve any relationship issues before you get into the bedroom
Check out your lifestyle. Cut down on alcohol, give up smoking, make sure you're getting enough exercise and eating a healthy diet
Reduce stress - do whatever you can to minimise stress and anxiety
Relax - make sure you're making time in your schedule to relax and have fun, both alone and also as a couple.
Take time to enjoy being sensual as a couple before being sexual.
Enjoy a relaxing massage together without any expectations of sex.
Other sources of help:
If after a few weeks the problems persist then you can make an appointment to see a sex therapist at your local Relate. A therapist will work with you alone, or you and your partner, whichever is most appropriate, to help you recognise and resolve any couple or psychological issues that are preventing you overcoming the problem. They will also set you a series of homework exercises that will help you to gain more control and confidence of your erections
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Getting in shape for sex
The house is empty, the candles are lit, and there's no place else the two of you have to be... In other words, the stage is set for a night of wild, hair-pulling, bed-thumping, no-holds-barred sex. On the other hand, you could have 10 minutes of doing it, get all tuckered out, and spend the rest of the evening snoozing in front of the late news. Your choice buddy.
If the former option sounds more inviting than the latter, you can make it happen, and I can help you. Simply select you favorites from this article series and you'll be loving her until the cows come home, until pigs fly, or at least until Leno comes on.
Let's get one thing out of the way to start with: Having straight sex for hours and hours sounds good in theory, but in practice it would be hell. "You can't have sex all night long - and if you did you'd be very sore," says Mark Klein, Ph.D., "what's more, most women don't want sex for hours on end either."
In fact, there are plenty of ways other than sex to round out a long lovemaking session. And if you're looking for an all-night lovefest, you'll get a lot farther by varying your positions and incorporating different forms of affection. Klein suggests supplementing such alternative as "mouths, fingers, massage, blindfolds, bathing together, and telling each other stories." You might even have so much fun you'll forget about the sex part...but I doubt it.
Sexual Fitness
Does the phrase "the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak" mean anything to you? Simply holding up your body (or hers) for long periods of time can be exhausting. And while changing positions can help, eventually your muscles will simply give out if they are not properly trained.
(1)Strengthening all your major muscle groups will help you with the support but your chest, shoulders, arms and abdominals are particularly important.
(2)Push-ups and bench presses will help you hold yourself up missionary-style, while ab crunches can help keep you swinging through the night.
(3)Don't schedule a tough workout session for right before a night of sex, or you may find yourself sidelined with muscle soreness by midnight. If nothing else, avoid brutal leg-training sessions.
(4)If you're getting winded before you and your partner are ready to quit, regular aerobic workouts will improve your endurance.
And since a recent Stanford University study related aerobic capacity to life span, performing cardio consistently could grant you two of mankings fondest wishes: better sex and longer life. Thirty minutes to an hour per day - at a minimum of 3 times per week - of biking, running, hiking or playing sports will increase the likelihood of both.
If the former option sounds more inviting than the latter, you can make it happen, and I can help you. Simply select you favorites from this article series and you'll be loving her until the cows come home, until pigs fly, or at least until Leno comes on.Let's get one thing out of the way to start with: Having straight sex for hours and hours sounds good in theory, but in practice it would be hell. "You can't have sex all night long - and if you did you'd be very sore," says Mark Klein, Ph.D., "what's more, most women don't want sex for hours on end either."
In fact, there are plenty of ways other than sex to round out a long lovemaking session. And if you're looking for an all-night lovefest, you'll get a lot farther by varying your positions and incorporating different forms of affection. Klein suggests supplementing such alternative as "mouths, fingers, massage, blindfolds, bathing together, and telling each other stories." You might even have so much fun you'll forget about the sex part...but I doubt it.
Sexual Fitness
Does the phrase "the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak" mean anything to you? Simply holding up your body (or hers) for long periods of time can be exhausting. And while changing positions can help, eventually your muscles will simply give out if they are not properly trained.
(1)Strengthening all your major muscle groups will help you with the support but your chest, shoulders, arms and abdominals are particularly important.
(2)Push-ups and bench presses will help you hold yourself up missionary-style, while ab crunches can help keep you swinging through the night.
(3)Don't schedule a tough workout session for right before a night of sex, or you may find yourself sidelined with muscle soreness by midnight. If nothing else, avoid brutal leg-training sessions.
(4)If you're getting winded before you and your partner are ready to quit, regular aerobic workouts will improve your endurance.
And since a recent Stanford University study related aerobic capacity to life span, performing cardio consistently could grant you two of mankings fondest wishes: better sex and longer life. Thirty minutes to an hour per day - at a minimum of 3 times per week - of biking, running, hiking or playing sports will increase the likelihood of both.
How to have Better Sex
Better Sex. Want to have it?
Everybody does and you're no different. Luckily, having better sex is easier than you think. What many people don't understand about sex is that it is much like a sport. Concentration, patience, timing, and strategy are all involved in having better sex.
The 4-men better sex technique will provide maximizing power to your erection, control your ejaculation, and last longer in bed.
The better sex method involves accelerating or slowing sexual orgasms, depending on how you want to contract or expand you sexual muscles. You'll accomplish this by controlling your breath and your internal energies
Better Sex Steps
1)Relax by controlling your breathing by inhaling and exhaling normally. Keep your eyes partially closed, put your tongue against the palate, and focus your mind between your eyebrows along your forehead.
2)Inhale through your nose deeply until your abdomen expands and do so at intervals of 2-5 seconds. Maximize the capacity of your lungs and focus your mind downwards, towards your navel.
3)Hold your breath and move your expanded abdomen downward by contracting your upper abdomen. As pressure gradually builds up against the bladder and the prostate gland, shift your concentration to the prostate area.
(* The most important step during intercourse, step 3 requires that the you hold your breath for as long as possible while applying pressure to the bladder and prostate area by contracting the upper abdomen and expanding the lower abdomen. This will partially block sensitivity to the penis, allowing you to last longer, and also be able to delay and control ejaculation.)
4)Contract your anus by clenching and exhale air slowly out of the mouth, shifting concentration once again towards your forehead again. (* Here you should feel hot energy rising from the prostate area along the spinal cord to your head.)
Better sex can be obtained through practice, determination and patience. However, having a good relationship with one you care for is the biggest factor in the pursuit of better sex.
Everybody does and you're no different. Luckily, having better sex is easier than you think. What many people don't understand about sex is that it is much like a sport. Concentration, patience, timing, and strategy are all involved in having better sex.
The 4-men better sex technique will provide maximizing power to your erection, control your ejaculation, and last longer in bed.
The better sex method involves accelerating or slowing sexual orgasms, depending on how you want to contract or expand you sexual muscles. You'll accomplish this by controlling your breath and your internal energiesBetter Sex Steps
1)Relax by controlling your breathing by inhaling and exhaling normally. Keep your eyes partially closed, put your tongue against the palate, and focus your mind between your eyebrows along your forehead.
2)Inhale through your nose deeply until your abdomen expands and do so at intervals of 2-5 seconds. Maximize the capacity of your lungs and focus your mind downwards, towards your navel.
3)Hold your breath and move your expanded abdomen downward by contracting your upper abdomen. As pressure gradually builds up against the bladder and the prostate gland, shift your concentration to the prostate area.
(* The most important step during intercourse, step 3 requires that the you hold your breath for as long as possible while applying pressure to the bladder and prostate area by contracting the upper abdomen and expanding the lower abdomen. This will partially block sensitivity to the penis, allowing you to last longer, and also be able to delay and control ejaculation.)
4)Contract your anus by clenching and exhale air slowly out of the mouth, shifting concentration once again towards your forehead again. (* Here you should feel hot energy rising from the prostate area along the spinal cord to your head.)
Better sex can be obtained through practice, determination and patience. However, having a good relationship with one you care for is the biggest factor in the pursuit of better sex.
Male Sexual Performance Enhancers
Male sexual performance enhancers are used by men to enhance their sexual performance; and, to often the same extent, concurrently enhance their partner’s experience as well.
There are many different types of enhancers on the market, and the majority of them of them designed to help a man achieve an erection and maintain it long enough to ejaculate. This, in turn, often provides men with the elusive confidence that they need to truly enjoy the experience (and make it enjoyable for their partner). Indeed, for many men the more confidence that they have from male sexual performance enhancers the better they feel that they will perform with their partner.
Although there are many male sexual performance enhancers that are available on the market, not all of them deliver what they promise. When purchasing any type of male sexual performance enhancers, men must keep in mind that these devices, creams, tablets, or supplements are not a “miracle cure”, and will often have to be used in tandem with other sexual enhancement products.
Male Performance Options
There are several male sexual performance enhancers that are effective for men in varying degrees of success. Some of these enhancers include:
Sex Solution Pills
Male enhancement pills
Penile enlargement products, that temporarily enlarge the penis
Viagra, which must be taken under the care of a doctor
Penile pumps
Premature ejaculation exercises
Natural herbal supplements
Topical application products such as Maxoderm
Acupuncture and acupressure
With so many different types of male sexual performance enhancers to choose from, many men may want to seek the advise of their doctor to see which products will do what for their sexual problems. The important thing for all men to keep in mind is that their sexual problems don’t determine their masculinity. If a man feels that his sexual problems define the rest of his life, he may need to consider some type of counseling to determine if the cause of his sexual dysfunction is physical, mental, or a combination of both. In some cases, the problem may be one that leads to more serious health ailments which require an additional medical investigation.
Researchers are always looking for the perfect cure that is going to give every man the sexual experience that he longs for. The thing to keep in mind is that as men age, they are prone to some degree of sexual deterioration that can’t be sustained no matter what enhancer or medication is used. Men need to learn to take good care of themselves, and to maintain a healthy lifestyle that promotes a healthy sexual attitude. This means healthy eating, regular exercise, and a healthy mind. When all of these lifestyle habits are healthy and maintained, a man has a good chance of having a healthy sexual life without the use of male sexual performance enhancers.
There are many different types of enhancers on the market, and the majority of them of them designed to help a man achieve an erection and maintain it long enough to ejaculate. This, in turn, often provides men with the elusive confidence that they need to truly enjoy the experience (and make it enjoyable for their partner). Indeed, for many men the more confidence that they have from male sexual performance enhancers the better they feel that they will perform with their partner.
Although there are many male sexual performance enhancers that are available on the market, not all of them deliver what they promise. When purchasing any type of male sexual performance enhancers, men must keep in mind that these devices, creams, tablets, or supplements are not a “miracle cure”, and will often have to be used in tandem with other sexual enhancement products.
Male Performance Options
There are several male sexual performance enhancers that are effective for men in varying degrees of success. Some of these enhancers include:
Sex Solution Pills
Male enhancement pills
Penile enlargement products, that temporarily enlarge the penis
Viagra, which must be taken under the care of a doctor
Penile pumps
Premature ejaculation exercises
Natural herbal supplements
Topical application products such as Maxoderm
Acupuncture and acupressure
With so many different types of male sexual performance enhancers to choose from, many men may want to seek the advise of their doctor to see which products will do what for their sexual problems. The important thing for all men to keep in mind is that their sexual problems don’t determine their masculinity. If a man feels that his sexual problems define the rest of his life, he may need to consider some type of counseling to determine if the cause of his sexual dysfunction is physical, mental, or a combination of both. In some cases, the problem may be one that leads to more serious health ailments which require an additional medical investigation.
Researchers are always looking for the perfect cure that is going to give every man the sexual experience that he longs for. The thing to keep in mind is that as men age, they are prone to some degree of sexual deterioration that can’t be sustained no matter what enhancer or medication is used. Men need to learn to take good care of themselves, and to maintain a healthy lifestyle that promotes a healthy sexual attitude. This means healthy eating, regular exercise, and a healthy mind. When all of these lifestyle habits are healthy and maintained, a man has a good chance of having a healthy sexual life without the use of male sexual performance enhancers.
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