How to Deal with Sex Problems ?

Question
Hi there!I just want to know what can I do to attract my husbant's sexual attention.My english may not be the best,because I am in this country since one year,but I hope it's good enough ,so you can understand me:)My problem:It's been months he doesn't care about our sexual life.I am sure he loves me,he shares everything with me and helps me a lot...he works 7 days a week and he is really tired.But he also stays late ,wathing tv or just sitting in front of the computer...And than he goes to bed and sometimes we dont't have sex for 2 weeks...I tried to talk to him,I explained that it's very importent for me...but he always appologize":I am tired ,baby"...and I know he is,but even when he is not-it's the same situation.I know that he had sex with his ex-girlfriends every day...Well,not with me.Sometimes I get angry and I show that.But he tried to explain to me that he had sex so often earlier with his ex-girlfriends because of his lifestyle-he worked in a bar,he drank a lot.Now he has a computer job and he drinks seldom...I just start feeling like I am not attractive and I start loosing my sleep...Because I can't stop thinking about it:Why he doesn't want me,when he loves me and he does everything for me?Thank you!


Answer
it could be alot of reasons, from physical problems to being addicted to pornography, to not being sexually attracted to you, to seeing someone else, but i doubt it's because he's "tired.."..the ONLY way this will change is for him to understand that his not confronting your unhappiness will have CONSEQUENCES; inform him that the present state of affairs is no longer unacceptable, and needs to change; that means he needs to truthfully admit what the real problem is, or, if he doesn't know, he agrees to make an effort to find out; that could/should include seeing an endocrinologist to check hormone levels, a regular doctor for a check-up, and possibly a couples counselor; your job is to TAKE ACTION if he inconsiderately refuses to cooperate; that could start out as just not speaking to him, acting very cold, etc; to going out with friends more, to threatening to see other men, to leaving; if you're not prepared to take these actions, than prepare yourself for an unhappy life of quiet desperation, which is what happens when you accept so much less than you deserve..